Mum.

Happy Birthday Mum! (click here)

Bendito Machine

Offline...-..Power up.

Hi. Finally things are starting to clear and this post, and as late as it is, is now for your viewing pleasure. Fuck. Is all I can say. The month can be summed best by screaming; fuck! But the blending of my self control is my great benefactor, making me not view the whole blunder by the eyes of negativity. And for that I'm greatful, and keeping calm. Se7en was a here for 3 weeks, with much needed visiting. Enjoying mostly the long walks and talks that we had. The day we and his cousin went on a little photoshoot is something that keeps coming to mind, and that we all freezing our asses of on that beautiful day. Club event at Dominion. Saying goodbye to a job I acquired a fondness to, with friends along with it. Looking forward is the key, with a new job in waiting, that could open a lot of new doors, still has me wondering what the fuck I'm doing with my life. Oh, well. Still no apartment to move to, and it's costing me, my dear. Running away to a far away land is something that also comes to mind, but I think that is only dreams, and maybe I just need a vacation. Yes, a vacation sounds great right about now.





The truth will sett you free, I guess. Shame it slaps you in the face while letting you know. I have a lot of work ahead of me. This post will be short. More will follow. Alot more.

Keep 'em safe. The pictures of your mind. Enjoy.

...

In the clouds, there is peace of mind.

I'm so looking forward to Tuesday, with a visit from Se7en. (Jan Georg is also thinking of coming for a visit. That whould be nice). Wohooo. Not only is it because I haven't seen him in a while, but also I've been a bit lonely these last couple of days. But, I try to do with what I've got and hope for the best. Don't let the negative side of things slide trough. But it's hard at times, and boring to say the least, not being able to handle it sometimes as one should; the bloody smart way.




Nine Inch Nails released a new album this week. Ghosts I-IV. And me being the sanity assassin, I fucking bought the Ultra-Super-Duper-Edition. $300. Narf. I just can't help myself. And after listening to the album form a simple download, I loved it, simply because it frames me for the moment in time.





It been two weeks now since my last cigarette, and after contemplating it for a long while (3 months), I decided to walk up the mountain behind where I live to celebrate. Well, it's more of a hill, but I was eager to climb it just for the fuck of it. Grab the camera, and sett of on my "little" climb. Halfway up my battery supply on my camera failed on me, and the trusty PhoneCam was put to good use as a backup. On upon conquering the hill, I looked to the east. Something furtherer up, with snow on it. Hell, why the fuck not. I kept thinking to myself along the way; "me and my mad ideas". But thats normal for me. On the top of this mountain, I sat down, listening to the wind, and admiring the insane view. Cold as it was, boots wet, and hands frozen; I felt really good inside. Not alone, at peace and full of life (but storing this feeling is another matter).

Capture thoughts. Yell them out.

Noisy head...

To what extent do I feel happy at he moment? I feel good. And that after a weird weekend of nothing but noise in my head. The troubles that have to go away, are here to stay for a little while longer. After a week of total contempt for my job, and what it really means to me at this moment in time. I'm kind og getting really bored with it, and I'm starting to look ahead for next summer and onwards towards autumn. School maybe? Sure, why the hell not. But is it really what I want: I mean can I handle possibly one, two or three year(s) more of a general lack of money. All I can say is maybe. If everything else is doing ok, then why the hell not. And if I don't get in, I just work for another year, and live the good life. Take that trip to NY alone, or Japan even, with Se7en. But for the moment I'm a bit lonely, but I make up for that with going to concerts. Saturday, after a long grooling day at home by myself, I found out a man by the name of Hiroshi Hasegawa (Astro) was playing at Landmark's Borealis event. I scraped some money together, thanks mùm, and headed to town (also with a mindset of getting really drunk). I possibly had the best night out, note: by myself, in all history. It was absolutely fantastic at Landmark, and Astro was fucking insane. I mean music that of the orgasmic kind. I also got to talking with a girl there too, a tall woman, that loved ambient music as much I do. We bought copies of Astros music after the show. Smiling. Nice guy too, I might ad. Sadly she did a disappearing act after the show, and I didn't get her number. Ah well. Pictures and video.

Take care. Make pictures of your head.
Astro's Myspace

Noisy head...video.

The beat goes...

facepalm for having you to tilt your head to the side...sorry. but, the sound is fantastic, mind the crow, so turn up the volume.

Week End...

Hello there in the universe. This entry is of a must. I can not underline enough how productive I feel right now. The week was horrible. The weekend was better. Friday night was me and my camera trying to capture the mood of the 10 anniversary party of Dominion. Dow earlier I felt gloomy and going dreading the whole thing. After a few beers at home, DJing for myself, surfing the web, I felt energized and vibrant, ready to face the world. At Hulen I was met with having to pay CC and finding that I was not the guest list. What ever, I thought. She probably just forgot. Bizzy girl. Did not bother too mention it when I met Kristin inside, she looked almost tired and I just didn't mind. Backstage pass made up for it. Greeted more people as the first few minutes past, as I got my head into mode:photo. The bands where great. Really enjoyed them, also through the lens. Lights where hot and blinding, but the crowd where full of life and that made it okay. I could run back and forth taking pictures of everybody. The only thing at the moment got me a bit frustrated was when the old Dominion crew got on stage, for a group reunion and cake. Important moment that sadly past rather quickly, with no good shots at all. On the other hand, the evening went really good, with happy faces and lots of dancing. Switched to the 50mm. Risky, but fun results. But all in all I had lots of fucking fun. Walked home with a bit of a frustrated Lilo, drunk boyfriend, but a plus side from me was the nice vibes I got between her and Kristin. Saturday was spent buying batteries in town and watching movies on my own. Well, Sunday whent on to become a quite a creative and fulfilling day. Woke up to breakfast and coffee, while watching Bert Monroy on PixelPerfect, with the rest of the day in front of Lightroom and Photoshop with the pictures from Friday night. Alot of work, (with the acquirement of a Mac Pro in June/July , because 340 images, 1GB and makes the old dell scream in pain. Zipped and mailed them to Cecilie. Sent her an IM telling she had mail, but no reply. A little anoing to say the least. Hope she gets them up tomorrow, In the meanwhile I'm giving you a taste right here with some of my favs.

Enjoy.

The Pipper calls...

Hello there. Over a whole week has past since my last rampant posting on this blog oh mine. The week can substantially be summed up by the word boredom. No, not bad really...just that things could be a little bit more fruitful and less bland, more color, please. My constant negativity has got me in bad company, and that company is only myself. I don't mean to be unpermissive in the way my life is being lived, it's just so bland at the moment. (Overexaggurated!) Gray and dim. Little light getting through to my weather torn face. A Friday came, and sickness with it. Fever and a general feeling of self pity. Spent the next 6 days almost only indoors, with little to do. Starcraft and tea. Whensday came. Felt better. Went back to work the following day. Friday came, and me and Kristin went to see the movie Cloverfield together. Fucking great movie. Thrilling, really thrilling. Saturday was good and just easy on the mind. I got my muffin, newspaper and music. Perfect. Tacos over Torchwood. Went out later on that night to meet Kristin for a beer at Hulen. Met more people at Inside. Followed her home. Revised and disappointed. The sight that met me at home was mildly fucked up. "You should have sent me a message that you were coming home." Stormed out and sat outside in the rain. After an hour I got to go home again. We talked a bit. Compromise was reached. Fell asleep. Sunday became a day of haughting memories from the night before. That all blew away later that night, and Monday rudely awoke me for work. Fuck this was a hard day at work, fell asleep several times during the day, actually standing up.

I love my life sometimes. I really do.

New "positive" post tomorrow....

stay tuned.

The jaw that clicks...

yei...but, on a positive note: I have people like him in the world.

A new lease on life.

I've been somewhat depressed and distorted these last couple of days. Mainly because of money, and the lack of. Bills need paying. Food. Don't overspend. Hate work. Boring work. Endless work. Well, it's heading in the same way it was before the holidays. Also I decided to pros pone moving by a month, due to the fact that getting I haven't found anything yet/ or the ones I liked slipped through my fingers. I've been on the negative side of things, I know. Things could be better. Hell, I'm always going around thinking about tomorrow or six months ahead. When the next large sum of money will come rolling in. But I'm sick and tired of waiting. A new computer is sometimes all that I really need, but with all the other stuff that bothers me at this time,...I just don't look forward to another year of having to pros pone that computer purchase for a whole new fucking year. I know it's just a fucking computer at the end of it, but it's the opportunities that arrive from the new Mac. A just wont a break. On the upside, I feel better as I'm writing this...




Tomorrow I will wakeup knowing how the infamous "Super Tuesday" went. I'm jiddi with anticipation for how Barak Obama did during the night. Will he win in California?? Will Hillary eat shit and step down...let's hope she does, cause I fucking do. It will bring a big smile to my face, that at least the rest of the world is making good progress. At new chance of life. Don't fuck this up America!!!

Late post and headbanging.

This posting comes late, and yes I am ashamed. But sometimes I really don't get the nessery time to sit down and reflect on what to write. It's a working progress, I assure you, with all my hart. Blogging about the things that concern are fun and reflective, so I think I'm not gonna end it any time soon. It's a Sunday night, and I got things to write.


Barak Obama winning the South Carolina primary was fantastic news to wake up today. Really sticking it to that fucking corrupt hag Hillary. 55%!!! Excellent turnout from the democratic side compared to the republican primary in SC. He left me with real hope and making me reflect on a JFK speech from 1961: "We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution. Let the word go forth from this time and place, to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans—born in this century, tempered by war, disciplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage—and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this Nation has always been committed, and to which we are committed today at home and around the world." Yes. Hope is here.

This week has been a tumble of recessive compulsive worrying about the the things in the near future. I currently looking for a new apartment, and this is not going so well as I'd hope. Not much to choose from and I can't just get any old apartment either. I really hope this setback will not last long. Maybe next week will bring better fortune. Another concern of mine is the need for a new computer. The old one I'm writing on right now just does not cut the meat anymore. Slow and old. Narf. Work has been a mixed affair this week, with some upsides to work. Getting to see Nacreous clouds (or mother-of-pearl clouds) this other day, was extremely enjoy full, and I probably would not have seen them if I was not working outside. As hard as it was, with the weather we've been having lately, it was a great upside to the week. Money is slipping through my fingers, and I'm considering getting a second job, one or twice a week, just so that I maybe can start saving for the many things I need. But I also would like time in my day. Narf.












On Thursday a got the delightful chance to go to a concert. The band Sworn (with Max from work on vocals) supporting some other band I can't remember the name of...Met Kristin at her place before going to the concert. And Jokke finally at Inside. I highly enjoyed the evening, with great company and generally good bands on stage. Kristin introduced me to Lama, the founder of Dominion, and we slowly got to talking about different things. A new photographer. Great, he said. I like having the opportunity of having a fixed role for my love for the art, and I will really enjoy taking pictures as long as can for Dominion.

Talked to my parents today, with general chit chat in mind, and a plea for money for a new computer. Parents said no. Ah well, worth a try. Fuck. With weird things happening across the street and the near future uncertain, I bang my head against the wall.

-50% Brightness; 100% Contrast

Tonsils (/Dates) can sometimes be a real pain in the ass, considering the fact that this week has been a painful and a great tormentor of my throat. Having my tonsils blow up the size of golf balls, making me snoar (worse!), moody and apathetic at times. But some how I have gotten through this week, by generally looking forward to the weekend. Come Friday, the day we all look forward to as the long lost friend in the time of need. Work was as usual, a constant long drag of the same replicating task the one is assigned to do, the clock slowly turning is hands in the right direction. Making my way towards town today a took a new route. One I have probably made once or twice while living in Bergen. It was nice. And refreshing. For the evening a dicided to go for two wines, my usual Eco Italian, Saladini Pilastri Rosso Piceno 2006 and a delightful Bordeaux, Ch. le Grand Housteau 2006. Food was something going to be a little harder, and thinking what to buy on empty stomach was not going to help. Tapas with olivebread ++, I thought at first. But after looking at the price, I decided to go for take-away pizza instead. I was really looking forward to the evening. Food, wine and the new Terminator series "the cronicals of sarah connor" with Kristin for company. Ghost in the Shell was also great watching again, always! But nodding off on the date is not cool. Even if she understood it was because of the daily grind.

Wakening up on Saturday, I felt really good, but insanly dry in my mouth. A yes, snoring again I thought. She must have loved that, keeping her up. She told me later on, over breakfast, that I almost stopped breading a couple of times. Her holding her breath, worried as sick as if I was dieing there and then...I suddenly realized that going to the doctor was maybe a good idea. After a long a delightful breakfast, I had the sudden urge for making the day worth while. I jumped on the first bus towards "Lagunen" to go shopping for Dual-Layer disks. A decrepit old woman was pissed of at the bus driver for not picking her up at the "right" stopping point, and kept on fucking arguing all the way up to Lagunen. My my iPod was at home. At fucking home. The whole trip ended up with no disks and me forgetting my bloody umbrella while buying food. The mood was not great later that evening, ice cream craving, and the bloody tonsils. Arrg.

Vapor trails

Body aching. Woke up today with my body screaming. Felt sick. These past couple of days have been grooling. Waking up, getting to work and having the body screaming of relentless tiredness. The funny thing is that this goes away during the day. Fuck that. Marius is good person to have around these days. A true friend.




Got through the last batch of cables today. The last 60. We had the rutine going great today, with some slight wiping from yours truly when it was needed. The job needed momentum going all the time. "J" was worried about the job was going to fast, and that maybe we should slow down a bit. I just told him that the faster we worked the fucking faster we got inside again. He shut up. After lunch me and Marius where put to work pressing the spacer ring on the cables. Tool's Lateraus was insane. So in tune with my current state of mind. Great album. Period.

After work the "gang" went for burgers at Inside. Had gotten a call from a friend just before work ended asking me over sushi. Felt really bad for standing her up, again(!). Well, me being a vegetarian and all, fried potatoes with dip was all I got. Surrounded by meat again, I always feel no remorse for letting go of meat. Wondered in town for a while, shopping for Ghost in the Shell. I've tried for torrents now. One looks promising. Buying is only a backup. I love Manga. Got home, ate som soup, watched some more Sopranos. Starting to really like it. Thank Marius. Going to visit a friend tomorrow. Wine I will bring.

Moo.

Moderet concerns of happiness.

There could be times that I really need to let go. Let go of the past and look to the future. And see the world in new light. Forgive me for being so coy, but there are days in my life that seem void, void of the simplest of control, thought and longing for something more. This year will maybe be a breaking point in my life. When things that have been left undone, and purely forgotten, have maybe been give an a new lease of life. This is what this blog is going to be, my bare witness for something more in life.

Today started of by dragging myself out of bed, and into the bathroom (for some cold refreshment to old mug). The kitchen is my humble friend in the early hours of the morning, with coffee for drinking and the odd cereal for eating. Turned on the radio to listen what news of the night had brought to the man sitting by a microphone in Oslo. Mitt Romney had won the Michigan primary. Fucking great, another religious fucker to get the thumbs up. Mormon asshat! Don't know what to expect from this election, I just hope there is light at the end of the tunnel. Not looking forward to the world being raped for another 8 years.

The walk to work was music-less today, sometimes the sound of the city wakening up is peaceful and overwhelmingly powerful. Today was like may other days at work. Random chit-chat with guys at work, in between the mass production of hydro phonic cables. Today was somewhat different, we where slowly running out of work. W00t?...you might yell. Understaft at the other end of production. After lunch me, J and Y where put to work packing a container full our glorious cables. 120 non-the less. The smell of fresh air with the salty smell of the sea, made me really contempt with the job in hand. Working in the rain was not a big deal, either, it only made it feel like home, and the time I was working in on the barren lands of BHFS. The constant stop and think work policy from "J" was a constant bother. The guy is a moron. As the job got evermore straining and tiresome, getting are gloves soaked from all the rain, warm coffee was a welcome friend. After work the long hall to buy waccume (?) bags in town, was mildly boring and cold. When I got home a long hot shower was orgasmic, well almost. Fell face first onto my bed. Slept for 2 hours.

There is been something taunting my mood lately. Always under the weather. Depressed, maybe...no. Life is looking good. But, I'm not contempt. My heart beats to another rhythm, and someone to dance with.

Love for a new year and the endless possibilities...

Things to do, pictures to take and projects to make. Have my say in the world to day. To make things they way they should be, and not just what could have been. Could there be new light for this blog of mine? How knows...but I really thinking of making it a working progress for this year. I better, damb it!! 2008 here it comes, my morning light, becan of hope, and things to come.

narf.